Wednesday, March 08, 2006



So I just came back from taking my family on a 4-day trip around the Kinneret. I did EVERYTHING perfectly- planned every step we took in advance: I designed and built the lakeside chalets we slept in, caught a deer, skinned, schechted, kashered, and spit-roasted it for their dinner. I even arranged for a water-ballet of storks to entertain us in a Sound and Light show on the 3rd night. But the very second I tried to even begin to educate them about the landscape and history, they start getting snarky:

Me: So this is Kursi, where Jesus apparently drove a demon out of a man, and into a pig which then ran into the lake.

Sister 1: Boooring!

Sister 2: Oh look there's a duck. Do you think its posessed by a demon?

Sister 3: What about that Sheep?

I am a professional! I have clients around the world who can guarantee I have prevented them from intermarrying, strengthened their Jewish Identity! But still my sisters make stupid jokes. And to top it all off, they didn't even bring me the 45 Kilograms of English chocolate that they promised in lieu of my daily rate plus tip! Well, I'll show them... Next time they come all they're getting is a lecture on the Mamlukes. If they're very lucky.

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